dear ex boyfriend
I. I never knew how it felt to be loved, until I felt your hand wrapped around my throat at 3AM; In the middle of the night, with 90 missed calls, saying “baby please, I need you.”
II. I never knew what it was like to not be able to breathe from words, until I felt my heart pound through my body looking for any last oxygen molecule to consume. I watched the subway trains pass for three hours that night, before riding a bus back to you.
III. I loved you more than you could know. You were always the one I loved, our promise. It was us. How could something so beautiful turn tragic over night?
IV. I felt less yours after that. He stole a piece of me from you.
V. You promised me you’d always be there, but you lied.
VI. Dear ex-boyfriend, I swear I didn’t love you hard enough but oh god I could’ve.
VII. I spent months waiting for you, some days it was like you were still beside me. I worried for you. I’d sometimes cry at night walking home alone.
VIII. I don’t watch a single sunset without thoughts of you overwhelming my brain, waves at the beach and new years eve nights aren’t the same anymore. Did you forget everything I didn’t?
IX. I held on for too long that parts of me were starting to slip away, your face was in every mirror, every time I closed my eyes. You were haunting my nightmares.
X. I still remember the exact hue of your eyes and the constellation of freckles on your face.
XI. Kiss my nose one more time for me.
XII. Dear ex boyfriend, we hurt each other and love should never be like that but when you stab a knife in someone’s back that many times and they still come back, aren’t you the lucky one?
XIII. I don’t make promises anymore, I forgot how to say I love you and the word forever is a little confusing to me.
XIV. I will never look at someone the same way again.
XV. Dear ex boyfriend, I’ll always love you.
